I’m Back

So a couple of weeks ago I came back from an 8 month deployment on a ship.  In some ways it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, and in others it was worse.  8 months of dealing with the same people in the same environment, no days off, just the same thing almost every day.  It got monotonous to say the least.  That being said, we did get to get off the ship and check out some cool places for a couple of days about once every month or so, which helped the time go by faster.

It was difficult sometimes, sharing a living space with so many females… having to put on the female, or at best butch lesbian, face everyday and not being able to come home to an environment where I could feel comfortable and be myself at the end of the day.  Sure, there is a rather small number of people I work with that know how I identify, but there were nearly always others around that don’t know and can’t know.

I made some new friends on this deployment, some of which I think will be lasting friendships.  Between that, the cool places I got to visit, even if only for a day or two, and the time going by faster than I thought it would, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.  The bad stuff I just had to push through and use the good things awaiting me back home to keep my outlook more positive.

So, getting back home.  I can’t believe how much I’ve missed out on while I’ve been gone.  August has progressed so far in his transition, it’s ridiculous.  He hit his one year on T the day after I got back.  Between the deployment itself and the exercises I kept having to leave for in the months leading up to the deployment, it feels as if I was gone for nearly that entire year, minus a few weeks here and there between the exercises.  He’s gotten really into fitness, which is great.  He really looks fantastic.  I wish I could have been there for more of his transition, but things are what they are and I’m here now, so there’s that at least.  I don’t intend to leave for any significant period of time again.

Speaking of fitness, I’ve joined the crossfit gym that August started going to while I was gone.  It seems like a really great place.  I was afraid of going and finding a bunch of bros and have been pleasantly surprised that the coaches and members there both seem mature and fun.  I’m really enjoying it when I go, though sometimes I’m tired from work or just not in the mood and don’t want to go.  I think that will improve with time, though, it already is starting to feel like it is.  Right after I got back, I found I was feeling even more antisocial and didn’t want to deal strangers a lot more than usual, but I feel like that’s from spending 8 months in such a confined community.  I’m feeling more comfortable with the idea of going to the gym without August accompanying me, in fact I’ll be going without him this evening.  The more I go, the more energy and better mood I know I’ll have, since that always happens when I workout regularly, and then I’ll be looking forward to my after work crossfit sessions a lot more.

I also started the Whole30 challenge and am about 10 days in so far.  I haven’t really had much in the way of cravings, just when I see somebody drinking coffee or August drinking protein.  I decided to take coffee out as well since I felt like I became very reliant on caffeine during the deployment, and wanted to get that out of my system so I can just go back to drinking it for the enjoyment of the taste rather than as an energy crutch.  And as far as the protein goes, it’s just so much more convenient to drink it after a workout than it is to prepare a whole post-workout meal.  Neither one is really a big deal, though.  I can definitely make it another 20 days.  So 21 days from now I’ll probably start my day off with a delicious coffee from our new Nespresso machine (like a Keurig only for espresso, it’s amazing and ridiculously tasty if you are the coffee drinking type).

So yes, 10 days in.  I didn’t take any pictures to document a before and after, but I did take measurements, which I will post the comparison of after I finish the Whole30 since I won’t be taking any more measurements until the end.  What I’ve noticed in these first 10 days… my skin has cleared up a lot.  I’m sure part of that is getting off the ship and getting more sunlight than I had for the last 8 months, but I also feel like a good deal of the credit can go towards being on a healthier diet.  Within the first few days I was already starting to feel leaner looking in the mirror or noticing how my clothing was fitting.  Today I noticed the sleeves on a top I wear for shirt are feeling a little tighter, which I feel like is a combination of crossfit and eating healthier.  My energy levels haven’t changed a noticeable amount, which I was hoping would improve after August had mentioned his improved early on in his Whole30, but there’s still 20 days left so it might get better.  That’s really all I have so far.  I’m sure I’ll post more about it as I notice more.

I’m glad to be back home and able to be me again.  I’m also glad to have a husband that has really led the way for me, I have some direction on my own situation thanks to him, as well as am living a much healthier lifestyle than I probably would have been without him.  I should be making posts more frequently now that I’m back, and I look forward to getting caught up on all the things I missed from those that I was following before I left.


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